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Monday, October 18, 2010

1.4 Kurt and The Velociraptor

Kurt awoke an hour later on the bench weary and hungover to find a Velociraptor peering down at him.
"What is you doin in my house yo?" She said with a heavy Bronx accent.
Kurt looked down at the Ty-dye bench perplexed and replied, "I didn't know this was any one's house... it's a bench isn't it? Not a house..."
The lady raptor snorted in annoyance and bent over to fish several personal belongings from underneath the bench.
"Dis where I keep my Tic Tac's an Laser Gun, whatchu thinkin stoopid?"
Kurt, realizing he'd offended the mighty beast quickly jumped to his feet and licked her snout, a sign of apology amongst Velociraptors. She accepted his apology by reciting a line from Three's Company.
"I'm still mad at u n shit tho" She said.
"Well how about this then," Kurt said, "I go on a lot of adventures and i think it would be just swell if you joined me."
"But i hate you." The raptor replied.
"Hmm... Well, If you go on adventures with me I'll buy you Cherry flavored Tic Tac's" Kurt ventured, hoping she would bite.
She did.
Literally.
And Kurt, though bleeding profusely from his dinosaur wound was very relieved for amongst the noble Velociraptor a bite to the prostate was a way of saying, "Sure! I'd love to go on adventures with you, let me put away my Tic Tac's and Laser Gun and we can be on our way. Also, my name is Madison."
Kurt jumped atop Madison's scaly back and the two rode off together, he wondered what sort of erotic adventures he would embark upon with his new lady friend.

40 comments:

  1. haha, that is some pretty strange stuff...

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  2. i remember reading this somewhere... what book is this?

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  3. not froma book, all material is pulled from my brain hole

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  4. Hmmmmm, im also wondering what erotic adventure awaits them ahaha

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  5. Velociraptor on Space Adventurer e-lit? Rule 34 I guess, can't wait to read/imagine the real racy shit.

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  6. okey............. thanks for sharing

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  7. thanks for visting regularly! Always appreciated.

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  8. Blasphemy! Orange are obviously the best flavor tic-tacs!

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  9. hahahah, funny story, bro, this is a mirror of what you have in your heart.

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  10. I'm not sure what to say to this, so I'll say, Hasbut. Much love.

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  11. Oh, so Kurt has the powers to ride velicoraptors? Just like Jesus?

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  12. All I can say is...COOL STORY BRO!

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  13. crazy! looking forward to your next post sir

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  14. Excellent post!

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  15. I love it, despite the fact that I have no idea what it means...

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  16. funny image in my head of kurt riding on the back of the velociraptor. thanks

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  17. hahaha thats awesome man, following

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