1.2 And then some other stuff happened PT.2 Kurt V. Shrub

     Kurt stood boldly holding his ground before the thrashing Hell Shrub. Xartor approached slashing forth with it's thorny branches. Kurt felt the skin of his left cheek rip open, sending blood onto the front window of a nearby bakery. Several customers, casually dining on various pastries looked up briefly and realizing nothing more than a boring Hell Shrub battle returned their attention back to their foodstuffs.
    "God. Every day with those Hell Shrubs, so last year." A brunette said apathetically in between bites of her raspberry ham roll.
    "I battled Hell Shrubs all the time before everyone else started doing it." Her androgynous friend quipped.
      Outside, Kurt threw himself deftly to the ground and rolled quickly to the left. Xartor, as all Hell Shrubs, had horrendous ocular capacity and momentarily lost sight of it's prey. Kurt, using his momentary visibility drew forth his shotgun and fired off a blast, aiming at Xartor's midsection. The blast was thunderous and a passing police officer looked sternly at the noisy Kurt. Xartor was knocked back by the impact but it recovered quickly and charged Kurt once more. Kurt's second shot chipped Xartor's shoulder bark on it's left arm branch. Xartor charged on, unphased.
    Things were not going well, feeling dispirited Kurt ducked into a narrow alley. Vines and branches followed, ripping and snagging his clothes. As luck would have it the alleyway continued far back enough for Kurt to successfully out of reach of the Hell Shrubs fury. He leaned against the back wall of the alley and shot several times at the oaken tentacles, breaking several, but not enough. Kurt knew he had not nearly enough bullets to continue on this way much longer.
    His disenchantment grew, morale was low. He needed a boost, and as he grabbed for his bannanazest power bar his fingers brushed across the tip of his mini record player, the mp3 of the future. He pulled it forth, forgetting the bananazest bar, and used the power of music to assist in his battle. The beat which was far too dopephresh and the rhymes utterly overwhelming in their mad stupid flow left Xartor dumbfounded, his thrashing vines and branches fell to the ground of the alley and Kurt rushed forth.
    As Kurt sprinted toward his foe he marvelled at how his impeccable music taste had rendered Xartor completely harmless. He jumped onto an empty bench and raised his weapon, which he'd begun to think of as being a Lucy, possibly Shelbert. With one well placed shot to the Hell Shrubs brain crystal, located atop the beasts head, Kurt slew his foe. Xartor fell dead before his feet.



Kurt's song >